Lets Get Real
Most of my life growing up, I was told by nearly everyone that the only way I was going to be happy was by getting a stable, well-paying job, getting married, and settling for a life that a lot of people would kill for. For a while, that was the life I chased, because who doesn’t want to be happy? Then I broke up with a partner I was settling for, packed all of my belongings to get out of a city I never really liked, got a job, and moved to a city where I maybe knew one other person—and was told it was a terrible place to live because people were afraid of the diversity.
Everything in my life flipped. I was on my own. There were no longer voices in my head telling me what was wrong or right, and I had a chance to figure out what actually made me happy, not everyone else around me. I lost a lot of people in my life. People said I had changed, but all I could see were the improvements. It was liberating to have my life.
However, habits are hard to break. I went back to settling for a job, I bought a house, and the only thing I was far from ready for was marriage—I later realized there were quite a few reasons for that.
During 2020, I was stuck at home for a month after traveling as things were shutting down. In that time, I had been sitting on a manuscript that I had written for nothing but fun. All my writing had been for fun, because I thought doing anything with it was pointless.
Until I actually met an indie author who showed me that it was possible to just put your work out there.
That month-long lock-in was what I needed to deep dive into the research of how one actually publishes a book. It took up at least 18 hours of my day, every day, for a month—watching YouTube videos, reading articles, pouring over author websites, publisher pages, agent reviews, marketing strategies, and more. I wanted to know everything so I could understand what my next steps should be.
Working with indie publishing was the best path forward for me. It was affordable, got the book into the peoples hands, and most importantly… it got the book into my hands. Nothing in my life compared to that moment of seeing my book for the first time.
Being able to hold it made me realize that I would never be happy living the life many people would trade for: an amazingly well-paying job, a house at the age of 21, and stability.
I went through the motions. I worked multiple jobs, saved up money, and built a safety net for myself so that when I decided to make the jump in 2024, I wouldn’t immediately fall flat on my face and prove everyone right—that this was just a stupid daydream. BECAUSE ITS NOT!
The creative industry is not for the faint of heart. It has been the hardest job I have ever had. I work more hours than I ever have. My work-life balance is so far skewed it’s unreal.
But I’m happy.
I love what I do, and even though it causes me stress, even though I sometimes worry about whether I can afford my rent some months because of the instability, and even though people in my life tell me I’m just digging my own grave—this is the life I have always wanted.
To create.
No matter what my future holds, I will never regret choosing this career path. Nothing has made me feel more alive than the work I am doing right now.
